keeping in together

so much going on this week. K & J looking for house, they thought they found "the one" but too many bids on it and the sellers are waiting to see who bids the highest. A bit frustrating but that means there is a better house out there for them.
C & B -- yeah -- they are the reason I'm holding my breath all the time. Geez! They really want to move to Texas thinking that is where their future lies.
I'm so doubtful about that. I'm trying to be supportive, trying to be a good parent, but my gut tells me that it's just NOT the right move for them. We'll see when we go there in November and look around. Hopefully they will see that the grass is not greener. But who am I to stop them? This is their life path to pursue (good or bad). As mothers, do we ever stop trying to pick up our children when they fall (figuratively)? I just want a clear path for them. It's so hard to stand by and watch them make a mistake. But is it a mistake? Again, who am I to say?

So I pray - for guidance and for acceptance. I think that's one of the hardest things we do as humans, accept & then move on.

what to do? what to do? lost .4 pounds. woo-dee-doo! A very good friend suggested that in order to let go of the weight I need to let go of what is bothering me. What's really bothering me? She said it's stress! What? Me have stress in my life? NOOOOOO!!! I won't allow it. Being honest with one's self is not easy. I'm so worried about my daughter Colleen I can't even speak about it. How dare I think I have stress. My life is good. I have a great husband, great daughters and have been blessed with great health. How can I complain about anything.
But if I allow myself to be honest. There's not enough space here. LOL

I will now try to deal with what I am holding inside emotionally. Wow - growing up is hard to do.

Tried Zumba yesterday. Well that was quite interesting, but alot of fun. I will never be described as graceful that is for sure.
Trying to eat right, but last night I had 3 slices of pizza. Why? Because it was there. I was disgusted with myself at that moment. Today was better.

so today I go back to the gym. I've really been avoiding it all summer. Marian got hurt and that scared me a bit and I pulled my calf muscle by just standing still. Did I make an excuse not to go? I've been working out at home, but obviously that's not enough as the pounds pack on.
OK, now it's time to be honest with myself. I'm "at that age" where things are at a natural standstill. Everything I've read says in order to avoid the extra pounds and shift in body parts you have to bump up the workouts. GEEZ!!! I really don't want to get involved with doing MORE!!! I don't have an hour 6 days a week to workout intensely. So what did I do? I decided to be defiant and not do it. So here I am with much more weight in places that I never had to worry about. So, today is the day I get my ass in gear and grow up and realize if I want results I have to do the work.
Wish me luck because I am a lazy person!

I'm new at this

So here I am, staring a blog as if I know what the heck I'm doing.
It all started about 1 year ago. My hair started to fall out, I blew up like a beached whale and just in general got quite cranky. What was happening? Was this what I've heard about for so long? The big M. Menopause. Oh sure I read up on it - what a wonderful time for personal growth (sure I'm growing sideways and out of my clothes). I'm okay with the natural passages in life I really am. I do what I can - eat healthy, workout. But suddenly that's not good enough anymore. Well now I am at war with my body. And I will win (hopefully).

so if anyone out there is reading this - I'm open for all suggestions (except HRT).